SURVIVAL STORIES 1 (Stephen’s CAE2 2005)

Wronki Ants & their Pipes

It happened on the 8th of March 2678 in Wronki, beautiful, industrial village of Somalia. The very famous plumber Henio was called to a very mysterious house in order to fix pipes in a kitchen. He thought it would be an easy job, but it turned out that it wasn’t. When he goes back to this even in his memory, he starts to shiver and weep. To tell you the truth he landed in a madhouse. You probably wonder what had happened that day? So… well we can’t tell because Henio isn’t allowed to tell it.

One day our big, big, big, big ant family was astonished to discover that the pipes in our house were broken. Furthermore, our little sister had chronic diarrhoea. We couldn’t bear it so we called the most famous plumber in Wronki – Mr Henio. Maybe we ARE a little bigger than other ants, but I don’t know why Mr Henio was so petrified when we started interviewing him – what had happened to our pipes? He looked like he’d been attacked by wild animals…

And then Stephen interrupted us and you can’t hear what happened…

by Asia & Weronika

Cannibalised Krawczyk

Far, far away, in the distant jungle land, there was a group heading west. Mr. Bobby Jones was one of them. These were his first holidays since he was a child because he had always been too scared to travel. The group was led by Mr Weekstone, a local tourist guide.

In the second day of the trip, Mr Weekstone ate golonka for the first time. He went pale and had chronic diarrhoea. After two days of terrible pain, he went completely mad. The rest of the group found it rather difficult to get along with him…

When they woke up the next morning they found his sleeping bag empty. He had left them alone: what cruel treachery it was.

After hours of following his footsteps, the group found him, which was fortunate. The bad thing was that he had nor arms or legs. He seemed to have been attacked by a large group of cannibals.

The strangest thing was that a picture of Krzysztof Krawczyk was laying on his body…

by Tom & Kuba

Tarzan & the Krawczyk Kite

One day, two men, Zdzisław and Bonifacy, decided to go on a trip to a very extraordinary place. They chose the jungle. They wanted to spend only one day there, so they didn’t take much equipment with them. They only had a bottle of water, some sandwiches and a picture of Krzysztof Krawczyk.

The purpose of their trip was to relive their childhood. They had been playing Tarzan all the time when they were children and they wanted to pretend to be that hero again.
While they were walking though the jungle, they noticed a big tree with lots of vines. That was it! They started playing. They were swinging, screaming, jumping and having a great time.

Suddenly Bonifacy stopped shouting bacuse the vine had become wrapped around his neck. He stopped breathing and died instantly. Zdzisław was terrified when he realized that his friend had died. He was in big trouble because it was Bonifacy who had known all the survival techniques and the way back home. When he had drunk all the water and eaten all the sandwiches he started to worry.

He made a kite from a poster of Krzysztof Krawczyk, wrote where he was and saying that he needed help. Thanks to that he was saved.

by Kamila & Kasia

Once upon a time in the jungle, Bolek, a 17 year-old lad, son of his mother, was attending English lessons. Unfortunately, one day, because of the chronic diarrhea from which he suffered, he was unable to attend lessons. Bolek was found kneeling in some bushes by local inhabitants.

As he looked tasty, they assumed he would be a good addition to a soup. Our hero, skilled in martial arts, came to the conclusion that he could fight with the aggressors. He also had a picture of Krzysztof Krawczyk in his wallet, which greatly improved his morale. He knew that Krzysztof, his music guru, wouldn’t have been afraid in such a situation. Humming Krzysztof’s song “Chciałbym być…” Bolek grabbed a leaf – as a substitute for toilet paper – and engaged the enemy. After handling with the plight, thirsty and starving, he decided to leave the zoo.

He knew that he would come back the next day as soon as they opened the zoo, because he really wanted to try his hunting skills on elephants

by Jacek & Krzysztof

Stephen’s CAE2 2005